One Thing About Me

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One thing about me, and probably the only thing you will have to notice once you see me, eye to eye (this is a pun, you’ll get it), is that I have strabismus, aka lazy eye, aka walleyes, aka banlag, aka doomed.

Everyone's eyes VS my eyes

everyone’s eyes vs. my eyes

So now you get the pun? Ha-ha. Still not funny.

Maybe now you’re thinking, uh-oh, his blogs are starting to feel much like a pity party collection of egocentric, attention-seeking, online rants…well…you are right!

FAQs

How do you see things?

Based on experience, most people ask me if this condition affects how I view things. Yes, it does. I seem to have a dominant eye and a submissive one, because my eyes are fans of Fifty Shades. The dominatrix is the one who holds 80% of the view I see. It focuses more on letters and words, for example, and recognizing objects and people’s faces. The submissive one is mostly for peripheral vision. It just looks at you, but it does not actually see you.

Like your ex.

SHOTS FIRED!!!

How do you deal with people?

Mostly by not staring at them (especially if they’re strangers) and if I do, I stare disjointedly. To avoid confusion. It’s more likely for their benefit. When people ask, I would say, my eyes had a fight, they’re not making up, but I never say it, because I’m a pussy.

Is this FAQs for real?

Nope. I made it seem like an interview but I’m just interviewing myself. Only 2 people have probably asked me these questions and most are questions I think people should have asked me but never did.

I am imaginative. Do you like me now?

get-back-here-and-love-me_610

Hypothesis

I don’t think this is genetic. I am unique in the family. I think this is probably caused by a developing tumor in my brain due to the bullshit I deal with everyday, or by a childhood habit that I regret. Back then I would stare at anything like a trance and I would sway my head to the side and ruin my eye coordination…or something. Can’t explain. I’ll end it here.

End

Thanks for reading, you judgmental asshole!

(more on judgmental on the next posts)

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2 thoughts on “One Thing About Me

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